A movie character was once asked why a quarter pounder with cheese was called a Royale with Cheese (other burgers and franchises are available!) in Paris. He was told that because of the metric system they would not know what a quarter pounder was (the words in the movie may have been a tad stronger). In a reversal of this, Newcastle AC went ‘old school’ for the annual club handicap and the metric 5k became an imperial 3 miles. Why was this the case – well obviously it was to facilitate the parking of the van in a convenient location and not because the telegraph pole with the yellow sticker could not be located!

Cometh the hour, cometh the excuses. Some crossed the border to avoid taking the line, others were in bed dying and those that made it out of bed were not really in any fit state to run. Others were simply wrecked as the eclectic posse assembled at the Percy French for the Christmas tradition of the club handicap. After much debate and endless deliberation at committee throughout the year, it was unanimously decided that a shorter distance was the most efficient logistical approach to delivering such a well attended and well supported club event. The burning question was, could the numbers surpass the recent excellent turnout at the club Christmas dinner – surely that would be too great an ask!!!

Jinksy Farrell, despite extreme fatigue that was bordering on exhaustion, was first man on the road and any intention of taking 40 winks was dispelled when he realised that he was holding off the chasing pack with some ease. He would finish second. The handicapper, an athlete renowned for knowing his people, rarely gets it wrong as evidenced by the steady procession of runners crossing the line. However, McMullan once again managed to dupe him, citing all manner of reasons why he would be lucky to even finish!!! Thinking he would not be fooled again (note – could be a good song title if it has not been used before!), McMullan’s handicap was slashed by three minutes. Notwithstanding this apparent savagery, McMullan left all trailing in his wake as he somehow managed to conjure a 20:59 to win by almost 50 seconds. This ensured that the trophy remains firmly on the mantlepiece on Bryansford Avenue.

Gary McEvoy, recovering from flu that had him ‘grounded’ for several days completed the podium and was delighted to give his coach a in-depth analysis of the event on Wednesday morning. Gary puts much of his recent good form down to what he has labelled as ‘bespoke evidence-based and data rich interventions’. It is worth noting the outstanding performances of those that availed of the warm weather training camp in Lanzarote at the beginning of the month.

There were some very good times on the night, made possible by the benign conditions. This was in marked contrast to last year, when those brave enough to turn up got a drenching of biblical proportions.

Our thanks to Deon, Zak, Trucker Ron and Big Al for officiating on the night and ensuring that everyone finished safely.