By the PM’s Plenipotentiary Correspondent
If you ever find yourself thinking, “Ah sure, a 5K can’t be that bad”, then you clearly haven’t met the Dunnywater Dander — a brute of a course with just under 250 feet of elevation gain packed into its opening climb. It claws uphill for a punishing 1.5 miles to the Dunnywater before whipping you round for a wild, 1.5-mile downhill dash back to Glassdrumman Gaelic Club. It’s the kind of race that makes you question both your training plan and your life choices.
The backdrop to this lung-busting adventure was Glassdrumman, a tiny coastal gem in County Down where the Mournes lean in close to meet the Irish Sea. The route climbed along the storied Head Road, famed for its sweeping views of Slieve Donard and the granite peaks — once the link between fishing hamlets and smuggling points, now a favourite of cyclists, walkers, and runners with a taste for punishment. The Dunnywater itself, a quiet stream crossing steeped in local lore of salmon runs and cart horses, marked the turning point before gravity took over for the borderline reckless descent home.
Presiding over the day’s madness with considerable authority and panache was Trucker Ron, steering race proceedings with the calm authority of a man who’s faced down more hairpin bends than most. Such was his confidence that Henry, English Pete and Ricky were not consulted at any point. His right-hand man and general underling Bogusboy, still glowing from a Rhodes holiday, kept everything shipshape — and maybe slipped the odd baklava-fuelled tip to the runners amid talk of smoked trout pate and red sea bream mosaic.
The pre-race warm-ups were every bit as colourful as the scenery. The Prime Minister decided the best preparation was to jog over the mountainous saddle to the start – a calculated risk given that one member of the family is ‘injured’. Not to be outdone, The Butcher (more run clubs than Arnold Palmer) took the coastal route via Magpie’s Leap and Smuggler’s Cove — a stretch with enough maritime mischief to fuel its own Netflix series.
When the starter’s whistle blew, the uphill to the Dunnywater was savage; the downhill to the GAA club, borderline reckless. Newcastle AC’s contingent — with friends and rivals alike — attacked it in style. There were personal battles won, legs lost, and more than a few post-race promises never to enter “that cursed hill” again… until next year.
The race wasn’t just a test of endurance — it was a full-blown spectacle. With temperatures soaring, the coastal air shimmered and runners wilted like wildflowers on the Head Road. And then, as if conjured by the heat itself, Miss World appeared — a bronzed goddess lifted directly from St. Tropez, turning heads and raising eyebrows in equal measure. Her presence added a surreal glamour to the day’s grit, like someone had accidentally dropped a Cannes red carpet onto a County Down hill climb.
Newcastle AC had much to celebrate, pulling off a clean sweep of the male podium in spectacular style. Patrick McDaid, the club’s rising star, showed the field a clean pair of heels, storming to victory with effortless pace and poise. Matthew Sutton, fresh from his sick bed, defied the odds to claim second — a gutsy performance that had spectators shaking their heads in admiration. Harry McVeigh, a prodigious talent with a bright future, rounded out the top three, making it a night to remember for the red and yellows.
Among the day’s standout performances was former Olympian and mother of two Kerry O’Flaherty, who continued her recent fine form with a commanding run. Building on her success at the Rossi 5K, Kerry stormed to the first female finish by a considerable margin, clocking an impressive 17:55 and placing 6th overall — a result that not only turned heads but firmly demonstrated her ability to compete with the big boys. Grace, grit, and a racing pedigree that refuses to fade — Kerry’s run was a masterclass in controlled aggression and seasoned strength.
Next up: The Butcher heads south for the Kilcock 10-Mile this weekend (if he can secure an entry – Ernie had told him to register months ago!) — because apparently one brutal race a week just isn’t enough. Meanwhile, the rest of the Newcastle crew are flirting with the idea of a gentler jaunt (providing they can source an appropriately sized bus) to
Some Murlough and Newcastle runners before the Glassdrumman 5k on 12 August.
Official NAC Club Results – Glassdrumman 5K
1 Patrick McDaid 16:52
2 Matthew Sutton 17:17
3 Harry McVeigh 17:29
4 Kerry O’Flaherty 17:55
5 Brian McVeigh 19:31
6 Connaire Óg McVeigh 20:18
7 Franky McGivern 20:57
8 John Kelly 21:05
9 Danny O’Boyle 21:33
10 Donald McDaid 21:55
11 Lorna Cunningham 22:10
12 Stephen Toner 22:22
13 Francis McAlinden 23:34
14 Michael Morgan 24:16
15 Anthony Quinn 25:04
16 Jerome Farrell 25:48